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:iconthelaughingdreamer: More from TheLaughingDreamer


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Written Art by Vlairebelle


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Submitted on
January 10, 2013
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On your left cheek bone, you had a long, dark scar
That you've earned when you fought their brutal war
And five broken bones in your slender hands
That you've cracked in a fight of a few damned lands
You deny but I've seen the light limp in your knee
Twisted in a ship at the heart of the sea
You pretend it was fine just to hide your pain
But I see your tears through the thickest rain
And in silent nights I can feel your cries
Just beneath my skin. They uncover your lies
The lies that you've told of how you're doing alright
Though the soldier in you is in constant fight
In silent nights, behind your shut door
You still see your friend, as he bleeds on the floor
You still hear the bullet that pierced your knee
And the scream of a boy who tried to flee
And the smoke and the rain and the inch deep mud
And the deaths and the pains and the fresh red blood
And you know that beneath all your skin deep scars
It won't be the same. You forgot who you are
...................please add a comment

Hello fellow deviants! Here's another war poem I'd like you guys to read:
[link]
Add a Comment:
 
:iconezradeacon:
ezradeacon Featured By Owner May 31, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Your wonderful poem has been featured here. :)
Reply
:iconbluefish2d:
Bluefish2D Featured By Owner May 5, 2013
Wow, just wow. So powerful
Reply
:iconthelaughingdreamer:
TheLaughingDreamer Featured By Owner May 6, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you
Reply
:iconellymango:
ellymango Featured By Owner Apr 30, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Wow. I'm not big on poetry, but this is powerful. That last line has such impact. And you made the whole thing rhyme.
Reply
:iconthelaughingdreamer:
TheLaughingDreamer Featured By Owner Apr 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you very much :)
Reply
:iconellymango:
ellymango Featured By Owner Apr 30, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Welcome ^_^
Reply
:iconqueens-of-chaos:
Queens-of-Chaos Featured By Owner Apr 7, 2013  Student General Artist
Wow, this has such a powerful message and such vivid imagery. I simply love it. And the last lines: "It won't be the same. You forgot who you are." Brilliant.
Reply
:iconthelaughingdreamer:
TheLaughingDreamer Featured By Owner Apr 8, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
thank you very much :)
Reply
:iconqueens-of-chaos:
Queens-of-Chaos Featured By Owner Apr 8, 2013  Student General Artist
You're most welcome c:
Reply
:iconthescourgedragon:
TheScourgeDragon Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
WOW. You made this incredibly deep WHILE RHYMING.
That takes serious skill.
Reply
:iconthelaughingdreamer:
TheLaughingDreamer Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you very much
Reply
:iconcoolgal67:
coolgal67 Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013
Amazing!
Reply
:iconthelaughingdreamer:
TheLaughingDreamer Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks
Reply
:iconcoolgal67:
coolgal67 Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2013
Np :)
Reply
:iconvlairebelle:
Vlairebelle Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
This made me cry. Some very close people to me are going through this and its so hard to watch.
Reply
:iconthelaughingdreamer:
TheLaughingDreamer Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Aww I'm so sorry dear.
Reply
:iconvannjaren:
Vannjaren Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013
Great work - the last couple of lines were really powerful, and the poem seems to gain momentum as it goes along, towards the climax. :heart: :clap:
Reply
:iconthelaughingdreamer:
TheLaughingDreamer Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you so much
Reply
:iconvannjaren:
Vannjaren Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013
No problem ;)
Reply
:iconkuroi-tsuruko:
Kuroi-Tsuruko Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Very powerful.
Reply
:iconthelaughingdreamer:
TheLaughingDreamer Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks:)
Reply
:iconbruggush:
Bruggush Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2013
I really enjoyed this poem, it speaks to me. You are a very good writer. :)
Reply
:iconthelaughingdreamer:
TheLaughingDreamer Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks a lot
Reply
:icongraphiteforlunch:
graphiteforlunch Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2013  Hobbyist
This is powerful! I especially appreciate the way you so skillfully used the rhythm and rhyme. It is pleasant to see since not many people do that these days but I think it can make a poem even more memorable.
Reply
:iconthelaughingdreamer:
TheLaughingDreamer Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you very much
Reply
:iconskylacine:
Skylacine Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2013  Hobbyist
This is such a powerful, beautiful poem
But at the same time its sad.
I really like the feelings that are put into this poem,
and the rhythm and the way it is all but together
Nicely done c:
Reply
:iconthelaughingdreamer:
TheLaughingDreamer Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks a lot I'm glad you liked it
Reply
:iconskylacine:
Skylacine Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013  Hobbyist
your welcome C:
Reply
:iconorthgirl123:
Orthgirl123 Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
This gave me chills. <3 Absolutely enthralling and beautiful.
Reply
:iconthelaughingdreamer:
TheLaughingDreamer Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you
Reply
:iconbellaxrich:
BellaXRich Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2013
Very powerful. Great job!
Reply
:iconthelaughingdreamer:
TheLaughingDreamer Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh thank you
Reply
:icononadarling:
Onadarling Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
A wonderful piece!
Tells a sad story, but I'm sure there are many who could relate in these times we live in.
Reply
:iconthelaughingdreamer:
TheLaughingDreamer Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you
Reply
:icontanithdraven:
TanithDraven Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2013  Student Photographer
I have a veteran boyfriend and this describes him perfectly. Where did you draw your inspiration?
Reply
:iconthelaughingdreamer:
TheLaughingDreamer Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I drew my inspiration from a discussion I had in my English class about the honor of fighting a war when it's actually very painful
Reply
:iconelletsa:
Elletsa Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2013
I love it! The flow was perfect and the feeling goes straight to the heart! Good job :)
Reply
:iconthelaughingdreamer:
TheLaughingDreamer Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks
Reply
:iconja-riv:
JA-Riv Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
"But I see *your tears through the thickest rain."

Beautiful, this really is. I just needed to correct that.
Reply
:iconthelaughingdreamer:
TheLaughingDreamer Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I corrected it thanks
Reply
:icontoadisrules:
ToadisRules Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2013
The emotion this piece portrays...Wow...
Reply
:iconthelaughingdreamer:
TheLaughingDreamer Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Aww thank you
Reply
:iconscarredknees:
ScarredKnees Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2013
...beautiful...
Reply
:iconthelaughingdreamer:
TheLaughingDreamer Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks a lot
Reply
:iconrocblade:
Rocblade Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2013
This is awesome
Reply
:iconthelaughingdreamer:
TheLaughingDreamer Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you very much
Reply
:iconservantoftheknight:
ServantOfTheKnight Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2013
I love it.
Reply
:iconthelaughingdreamer:
TheLaughingDreamer Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm glad you do
Reply
:iconnxay:
Nxay Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2013  Student Digital Artist
Probably the best poem I've ever read. War stuff really...gets to me, y'know
People think that war is an honorable deed.
And well it is.
But all they see is a flag waving is the breeze and soldiers marching, with trumpets playing.
They can't even begin to comprehend how awful it can be. How it haunts you, how it twists you.
It's too hard for me to even describe. But you did it beautifully. Ill probably be following, and a definite fav uvu
Reply
:iconthelaughingdreamer:
TheLaughingDreamer Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh thank you very much I really appreciate it
Reply
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